The Strive for Balance
by cyathula
Summary: Milgasia visits Filia in her home after Try and discovers her joking around with Xelloss. Filia has a meaningful talk with Milgasia about it. Milgasia asks her to come back as Shrine priestess. I've RE-WRITTEN half the story! Read and please re-read!


**This was an old fic I dug up from the bowels of my stories folder. Once in a while I get that itch for Xelloss and Filia, and I have to read or write about them! I haven't watched Slayers for years, but my main interest is in these two particular characters. I am aware that there may be inconsistencies or ooc'ness. **

**OKAY, I've re-written the whole bottom half, I think it's much better now! And I may continue! **

** Please enjoy! **

**I don't own Slayers, or it would only be about Xelloss and Filia.**

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The Strive for Balance

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Visit

"He's got to start lessons now, he's already 3!"

"Oh come on, do we really want to get him in magic again?? After what he did before?"

Xelloss sighed. "Filia. If you don't start him now and lead him correctly, he'll want to learn it himself. Look who he's looking up to. You and me, and it would be rude to deny him. Look, start him in white magic, I don't care, but you have to start training him!"

"I guess so..."

"I'm going to teach him a light spell tomorrow, if you don't stick him at the local school!"

Filia laughed. "Ah yes Xelloss, I think that will ruin everything, I'd better get him enrolled today!"

Xelloss smiled and waved a finger. "You know it sounds innocent, but it's not. He's gonna wanna know more... I just think it's wasted potential!"

It was a hot afternoon day, and business at Filia's pottery shop was somewhat thankfully slow that day. Customers still managed to come in at an annoying interval, however, that made it so that they couldn't sip their tea at the cozy dining area in the back. So as comfortable as they could manage, they sat behind the wide counter in the shop chatting away and sipping Filia's higher grade Ceylon.

"Xelloss. I have another idea for a plate."

"You change subjects quite shamelessly, Miss Filia. Well, come on, what is it." Xelloss grinned, closed his eyes, and leaned back on his stool against the wall.

Filia took out a sheet of paper, drew a circle and scribbled a picture inside. Xelloss leaned his chair back forward, glanced at the drawing and face faulted. She had scribbled a mini picture of Xelloss hugging a trash can full of smelly matter and flies flying around.

"You didn't have to think in terms of pottery to draw that, you silly dragon! And what'd I do to deserve that."

Xelloss snatched the quill from her hand and drew a mini Filia in the trash can with an unhappy face and messy hair.

Thus it went, both snatching each other's quills until finally Filia whipped out another one and both were laughing and yelling and making an idea for a very hard to make plate.

The bell rang.

A man walked in and stared.

Filia and Xelloss looked up, still more or less tangled in their attempts to draw bunny ears and devil horns on various 2D incarnations of themselves.

"Sensei!" Filia shouted.

"Milgasia!" Xelloss shouted at the same time.

"Xelloss...! What in the name of Ceipheid are you doing here???" Milgasia yelled back.

Xelloss regained his composure, closed his eyes (putting on a mask, more-like), and replied. "Visiting Filia, sir. And I'm sorry for just shouting your name dishonorably," Xelloss gave a bow, "Saichuro-sama."

"Saichuro?" Filia asked confusedly. "Are you the new Saichuro now, sensei?"

Milgasia still looked at Xelloss with a suspicious look and replied, "Yes, Filia, I am, everyone was so lost after the last Saichuro died. I had been helping everyone to best of my ability, and finally everyone asked me to just take the lead and give the dragons direction. I have been very very busy, but I finally got some time off, and was curious how the lone golden dragon is doing out here."

Filia blushed. It really must be a strange site for her former teacher to see. Her and the most fearsome enemy they've been taught. How is she going to figure this out??

"How'd you know he's Saichuro now, Xelloss??" Filia asked suddenly, "and why didn't you tell me earlier!"

"Oh come now, I have to take an interest in current affairs, it's important. But I wouldn't know how interested you'd be now," Xelloss gave a frown. He stood up and faced Milgasia. "I must say that I am glad that you are the new Saichuro now, however, may the dragons not be led astray again. Teaching your kind to hate doesn't really make sense does it?"

A surprised look flashed across Milgasia's face.

"Now I believe you two must have a lot of catching up to do, I should take my leave," Xelloss said. Under the counter, he gave Filia's leg a squeeze and flashed her a meaningful look. Filia nodded sadly, and he disappeared.

"Filia, what is he to you now? Have you gone crazy??"

"Sensei... first let me close shop and serve you tea in the back... " Filia got up, scribbled a "Special occasion, Closed", and went to go paste it on the door.

"Sensei, he's not entirely evil..."

"He could be tricking you! That's his specialty!!"

Filia sighed. Oh Xelloss. "If he was going to kill me, he could have done so many years ago. If he wants to use me, there is nothing he can use me for. All I do, sensei, is make pottery, look after Val, and live quietly..."

"Maybe he's trying to get the last Ancient Dragon."

"Oh, if Xelloss wanted to do that, he could have done so very easily these past few years... I'm hardly capable of defending myself against the likes of him."

Milgasia softened his look. She was right, there really wasn't much of a malicious reason he could think of for the Mazoku to be hanging around Filia.

"Mazoku aren't capable of love, Filia."

Filia smiled this time. and put down her teacup.

"Well, maybe we underestimated them. He is not just some common Mazoku after all. When we traveled throughout the journey to fight Darkstar with Lina and her group, I had realized that he wasn't as one-dimensionally evil as we were taught. I bashed him on the head plenty of times, called him all sorts of names, but he never did anything to me, he was always polite. He always had his agenda and his mission, we never talked more than complain, never did anything else but focus on our missions. He saved me when I fell from one of Valgaav's attacks. I helped him when he was down. When we had to defeat Valgaav, we had to combine our powers to defeat him. But we never thought much..."

Milgasia shook his head confusedly. He didn't really know what to think. This was absolute blasphemy and never in his dreams would he imagine any dragon in love with a Mazoku. It was simply impossible.

"Finally, months later, we saw each other again, and after bashing him in the head and yelling at him, we talked. And realized that there was more to world than we knew... I, I am sorry for rambling, sens-- Saichuro..." Filia looked down at her tea.

Milgasia had listened with interest and felt the truth in her words. But he still didn't know what to say.

"If anything, Saichuro... if we hate them... that hatred is not natural of us Shinzoku... is it?"

"No..." Milgasia shook his head again. "Saichuro... the one before me, he truly had gone down the path of hatred. That is true."

"So... if we are so capable of hate... so much hate and selfishness that we committed total genocide on the Ancient Dragons... maybe... maybe some Mazoku are capable of something like joy and care a-and love..."

Milgasia studied Filia for a moment.

"Filia, I thought you were betraying us when I first entered your door. But I really was shocked at how happy both of you looked. And I was shocked to see how full of joy the Mazoku was. I knew him to be the our most hated murderer and incapable of positive emotions, yet that moment that I saw was dumbfounding."

Filia smiled a faint smile. "Saichuro-sama, you did know that the Beastmaster is best-friends with the Knight of Ceipheid, do you not?"

"Really? I had heard rumors of such, but the Saichuro of old told us that was a lie."

"We really are all pawns, and have been led astray. The Knight of Ceipheid knows more than we do, obviously, though has never appeared before us in the Golden Dragon shrine to bless us. I believe the previous Saichuro was incensed that she never gave us her holy blessing. Our history books never said this either... but the Knight of Ceipheid gave the Ancient Dragons her blessing for their ways of peace. And that was another more personal reason we went to war with them to wipe them out.

"I believe, Saichuro, that we were on the wrong path, a path that does not befit us Dragons, of the Shinzoku. When a Mazoku asks me why I'm more angry than he is, that hit me very hard. Both of us are capable of every emotion. It is just that each side draws power from different energy poles. They are not very different from us... really. We are on opposite ends of the same coin. We slander each other and fight each other, but I think, what we were meant to do is to work with each other and keep the world in balance.

"Xelloss told me that the Beastmaster and the Knight of Ceipheid are always eating and drinking together. To them, the Gold Dragons were out of line with the world. For we destroyed the Ancient Dragons, that left a huge void and we were going to be punished by L-sama somehow. That is the way of the world -- Balance. In this same vein, Fibrizo and Gaav were also destroyed, I assume this Balancing act was not commonly understood... And the Beastmaster and the Knight of Ceipheid figured it out through their friendship."

Filia took a sip of her tea. She looked up and saw that Milgasia looked expectant for her to continue. She was really afraid that she was rambling.

"Xelloss is directly under the Beastmaster, so this philosophy, he knows very well. One of the things that the Knight of Ceipheid had mentioned, was how she couldn't reason with the Golden Dragons anymore, and was afraid we would destroy ourselves. I think Xelloss found me a direct torchbearer of the Dragon's close-mindedness... really enjoyed annoying me all throughout the Darkstar's journey. But when I was faced with the truth about the Ancient Dragons and what we did to them, I had started to crack. When Saichuro beat the last faith I had in him out of me--"

"What happened? I was not there." Milgasia cut in.

"We were in the Ancient Dragon ruins, and Saichuro had appeared. Xelloss had gotten there earlier to go after one of the Darkstar weapons, when Saijuro suddenly appeared before us as Lina, the group, and I came in. Xelloss then took me hostage. He threatened to kill me if Saichuro did not give us the last weapon. But... Saichuro could care less about me, and said just as much... " Filia saddened at the memory. "Xelloss let me go after that, he wouldn't have killed me. By then, I had heard everything and Xelloss knew I had been thoroughly shaken in my beliefs. Instead he felt sorry for me, and after we parted ways after defeating Valgaav, he came to find me one day to talk about more or less what I had told you about the Balancing act. He felt I could listen more reasonably after cracking so much during the journey I guess. Which I did... after a while... listen, I mean."

"Does he ever say anything about how he feels about what he did during the Kouma War?"

"I believe that was when the Beastmaster had not met the current Knight of Ceipheid... During those times, both sides still held the common belief that our mission was to destroy the other side. He's sorry for what he did, but that was a thousand years ago, and something like that is not wont to happen again."

Milgasia nodded, deep in thought. "You were always my greatest student, Filia. I had sought you out to ask if you would want to move back to the newly built Shrine, and serve again as a priestess under my leadership. Perhaps slowly, we can change our ways and finally receive the blessing from the Knight of Ceipheid with your help."

Filia's heart jumped at the offer but she felt saddened instead. "Saichuro-sama, I thank you for your offer. I will always be more than pleased to offer you guidance at any time. However, I took on myself to raise an Ancient Dragon under my care, and I don't know if it might be a great idea to raise him in a small community of golden dragons. Also, I don't think Xelloss will still be any more welcome to visit me in the village, now than before... Of course, I will visit the village very often with Val, that is for certain."

"I figured you'd say as much, but I had to ask. Though perhaps if you live closer outside the village but near the Shrine, I would be more than happy to furnish you with a good house in a private area. Xelloss... well, he may visit you as often as you like. You are right that he probably would not be all too welcome in the town. As far as Valtierra, we will do our best to give him a positive life to live."

Filia felt tears stinging her eyes as she smiled. "Then I humbly take your offer, Saichuro. I have never been so honored. For the longest time, I had thought I was the last golden dragon..."

"Yes, Saichuro had taken most of us to go head you off, but some of us stayed. I was afraid for you when a couple survivors crawled back to tell us of the late Saichuro's demise. When we heard that news, we went into hiding in case of any unknown attacks. However, by the time we came out, the sky had turned a brilliant shade of blue, and I took that as a good omen. We regrouped and found ways to make up for the substantial loss. It will be a very long time before we can again, become what we were before, but we have a good start."

Milgasia stood up. "Well it is time I started back. I will come back and inform you when preparations are ready for you to move. I feel extremely blessed to have found you again."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Xelloss, meanwhile, was lying on the rooftop above the kitchen. When Milgasia finally left, he phased back down into the room below, making Filia nearly drop the empty cups of tea she was taking to the sink.

"XELLOSS! I nearly dropped all the china!"

"Oh they would have been easily repairable even if you had! Well congratulations, Filia!" Xelloss said, and gave her a giant bear hug after Filia put down the dishes.

"You heard?"

"Of course, I was cloud-gazing on the roof above you. I do think it is a good idea. Milgasia is a sensible gold dragon, and I think it would be good for Val to grow up with some other dragon kids, eh? And you'll have a stable job again!"

"I'm not doing that bad with my shop!"

"It never hurts to have a steady income... and it's not like you can't continue to do your pottery! Hurry and send a message to Milgasia and tell him to build a kiln as well!"

Filia laughed, and gave Xelloss a tight hug.

"I hope everything will be okay... I really do... But I really don't want to move back if any of them are going to do anything to you though... or to Val..."

"Dear Filia, don't worry about trifles like those." Xelloss smiled as he planted a kiss on her cheek. "I'm happy for you."

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**I may or may not continue this story depending on how I feel or what reviews I get! Please review! It's verrrrrrrry encouraging!!! Even one word would do the trick! **


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